I’m back!

I have taken such a long hiatus from posting since I started grad school! It’s sad, actually… I messaged Mike and asked him “what was the name of my blog again?” (he remembered!) and thought it to be weird that I didn’t remember. Looking back, I don’t know how I was so nervous and school (although, again, I’m nervous for the upcoming Spring semester) and I didn’t imagine that I would be ENGAGED this soon!

I think a nice return to my blog site would be to tell the story of how Mike and I got engaged :) So here is, folks…

OUR ENGAGEMENT STORY

Scene: At a bench outside of the Botanical Gardens in Montreal, snow on the ground, Christmas lights everywhere, light snowfall

Dialogue:

Michael: Can I show you that card trick I’ve been working on? (He had mentioned this request prior to this time so I wouldn’t think it was random)

Me: Okay!

Michael: This is a fortune-telling trick, it will tell you something about your future. Take this pen and write your name on this card- the queen of hearts, because you’re the queen of my heart!

Me: Awww! Okay *writes name on card*

Michael:  *bends the card and places it on the bench* so now this card is unique, there is no other card like it, right?

Me: Correct.

Michael: But if you see here in the rest of the deck… *fans the deck of cards out*

At this point, I was expecting to see  the bent card with my name on it in the deck. Instead, the deck of cards fan out to say “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” and I just started squealing. Mike then told me to look underneath the card with my name on it on the bench… which is where the ring was (magic, of course) and I continued my squealing at a much higher dB. I had forgotten to say yes when I had started to cry because I was so happy- to which Mike then said, “aww… I’m not thaat bad!”

I don’t want to think about the wedding yet because I just want to relax in this state of engaged and in love! :) However, my mother is already wanting to discuss the details, thus risking to ruin that period of just being happy (uh oh).

A spoken version of the story can be found at Dave’s audiboo (which includes his hilarious interjections and laughter):

Engagements, sadness, and loneliness

Three unrelated topics, but-

Engagements. I’ve been seeing a lot of engagement-related stuff on the web (i.e., youtube videos of people proposing via movie trailer, WTH?), but there is one video that I’ve seen that makes me tear every time I watch it:

This guy… made a video of how his life used to be, was, and how it would look if his girlfriend accepted his proposal, showed it to his girlfriend and proposed on a hotel rooftop. It could have been executed so horribly, but it was funny, warm, and touching. Sigh… then I cry when she starts crying. Of course, the element of surprise isn’t there since I’m sure she saw this coming from a mile away, but I thought this proposal was still awesome.

Also… I’m wondering what is up with everyone getting engaged this year? Haha I am so, so, so, so, happy for everyone who’s engaged, I guess I’m just getting impatient har har har.

Sadness. Today was my last day of work at Arlington Children’s Center. I got really sad and started missing all the kids even before I left… I forgot about all the times they hit each other and made me angry (hahaha) and kept on thinking about how cute they are and how I didn’t want to leave them. I had on, as Robin would say, my graduation goggles. The parting was nice, they gave me flowers, a mug, a Starbucks giftcard (still need to use up the one I have from my last job…), and a hug from everyone :) It made me really sad when some of the kids said to me “I won’t miss you!… I’m going to see you on Monday!”… as if they thought I was bluffing when I said I was leaving haha… it actually makes me sad that some of them think I’m coming back next week. Ahh I probably won’t see my kids again and that makes me feel so wistful… it was only 5 months but it was the best 5 months of working, ever.

I’m intermittently excited for graduate school… I start on Monday and I don’t have any readings prepared. I ordered the textbooks weeks in advance and they haven’t gotten here yet so now I’m just hoping they won’t quiz us or do something that requires us to know things from the text on the first day. I don’t like the feeling of being unprepared, and my realization of how unprepared I was significantly decreased my excitement for the program.

Loneliness. Lately, I’ve been isolating myself (not sure why) and filling my time up with watching Hulu, practicing the bass, and editing photos. I can’t really remember the last time I spent time or had a long conversation with a close girl friend but I find myself lacking that company. Remember high school when you talked on the phone with your friend for hours until your cell phone battery died and you had to call back using your house phone? I don’t really miss the super long conversations (my ears would always be sore afterwards lol), but I miss the company of a friend you know you can trust, a friend who would, with no doubt, be a bridesmaid at your wedding, etc… I have Michael but it’s different with him and I think it always will be, I’m not sure he how excited he would be to talk about some cute dress I saw on sale or korean dramas or about singing competition shows (yeah, I’ve kind of fallen back into watching those shows… like The Voice… I’m not sure if I’d recommend it haha).

I think the fact that I live with my parents contributes a great deal to this feeling of being alone. Sure, economically it’s a great plan, but I don’t get to host dinners or have people over whenever or have the option of living with friends. I feel very dependent on my parents and very removed and different from a lot of people in my age group.

My friends from college are all scattered (I guess that’s what I get for going to a school in the middle of nowhere) and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they come to visit, even if I only get to see them for dinner. I have concluded that I need to travel more (I have only seen friends who would visit Boston) and meet my friends where they are. And if I can’t, then to make more of an effort to keep in touch he he he.

I’m always in a thinking mood at weird hours apparently. Goodnight!

Flowers are Red

The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said, “What you doin’ young man?”
“I’m paintin’ flowers”, he said
She said, “It’s not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There’s a time for everything, young man
And a way it should be done
You’ve got to show concern for everyone else
For you’re not the only one”

And she said,
“Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There’s no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen”

But the little boy said,
“There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one”

Well the teacher said, “You’re sassy
There’s ways that things should be
And you’ll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me…”

And she said,
“Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There’s no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen”

But the little boy said,
“There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one”

The teacher put him in a corner
She said, “It’s for your own good
And you won’t come out ’til you get it right
And all responding like you should”
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said… and he said,

“Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There’s no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen”

Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin’
She said, “Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let’s use every one”

But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said.. and he said,

“Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There’s no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen”

“Flowers are Red”, written and sung by Harry Chapin. From the album Living Room Suite

Maybe the saddest song lyrics I’ve ever read. Other than the lyrics to Cigarette by Ben Folds Five, which was taken word for word from an article about a man who was divorcing his ill wife. And now I’m sad… goodnight!

 

Almost at the end of May

It’s almost the end of spring (spring didn’t even show up! That flakey sonofagun) and:

1. This Friday, the whole school is going on a trip to Drumlin Farm. The toddlers have been learning about farm animals for awhile and I can tell that they’re really excited to finally meet them! Although, I hear that the part of the trip that the kids enjoy most is the bus ride over haha. I’m not really looking forward to waking up early and working the entire day, but I am super excited to go on a trip and also get paid for working an entire day (I’ve also been working over time a lot because parents have been coming late… which I don’t mind if I am getting paid for it)!

2. I’m almost at the end of Phase 1 of P90X… Mind you, this is where I stopped the last time because I went hiking and my knee flared up. I am determined to get through the entire program (which is hard to say after today’s Yoga session. The pain!) and then take post-p90x pictures. I don’t think there will be too much of a difference, other than in my arms.

3. According to Harold Camping, rapture is this Saturday, folks, so make sure you– I’m not even sure what you would do. Mind you, this is the same guy who made this prediction in 1994 and… was wrong… so… that’s cool. And scientific. Completely scientific.

4. My financial aid for the summer has STILL not been awarded! Ta-da. Apparently this has been an issue for all CSD students taking a prerequisite courses… and for some reason, knowing this has not made me feel better. In fact, it makes me question why that system is so outdated/inefficient/slow (not to mention that the FAFSA site doesn’t run on any of my browsers but IE. Who still uses IE? If you use IE… I am sorry).

5. Michael bought me a Macbook Pro for photo editing (and general playing around)! I plan to use my Asus to bring to class and do work on and my Macbook to do everything else on (like a toooy). I have been using it non-stop, it might be time to move to Portland, buy a flannel shirt and join the rest of the hipsters at Starbucks.

6. I had my Highrock Members Renewal interview last Sunday. I cried throughout the entire thing… I will probably make a whole other post about that later. But I feel bad for my Highrock guides because they were basically my once-a-year spiritual counselors… and I just had a lot to get out.

7. I guess I usually (and recently) have been finishing off a post with something cool. 500px is this is a really cool photography portfolio site, and I particularly liked this picture (click on photo to go to the actual photo page):

Kind of reminds me of Inception

between a rock and a hard place

I’m worried that this path that I’ve chosen isn’t the right one. I just see bad signs everywhere… attending the information session at MGHIHP made me feel like I wasn’t competitive enough, I only have enough in my bank account right now to take one course… of the many that I need to take (oh and I won’t even get into student loans), and soon I may have to leave the one job that I ever loved.

The class schedule doesn’t permit me to take courses and also work as an afternoon teacher like I’ve been doing. I might be able to work as a morning teacher but I don’t know how much bandwidth I have to teach all morning, then learn all afternoon, then study all night. I’m planning on meeting with the directors tomorrow to discuss whether that would be a possibility or whether I’d have to just leave the job as soon as I start school.  I feel like a horrible person because I’ve somehow led them to believe that I could work there as a grad student… it’s only been a couple of months and they have made me feel so welcomed. Sigh.

Going back to finance, I don’t think I’ve ever felt poor in my life. Even when I wasn’t sure my mom’s income could support me, my brother and my dad, I always knew that we weren’t “poor” in that we had a home and food to eat. I was lucky to have my mom pay my way through college (albeit with me paying off the loans for the next 10 years), but I actually want to be able to pay my own way through graduate school. When I talked to the current students in the program on Saturday, I found that they pay for rent and manage to pay for their tuition (of course with federal loans), so I’m assuming that the situation isn’t as bleak as I’m making it out to be. But seriously… tuition is up-the-butt-expensive and I don’t even know what that means, but that’s how expensive it is.

I am just whining and moping because I was (am) exhausted, so I took a nap earlier but now I can’t fall asleep.

Here is a video of a woman who lives in a 90-sq ft. apartment for $700/mo.

And she’s married! So her and her husband take up 90-sq ft. How do two people live in such small proximity and not get sick of one another haha.

Adventure blog?

I am thinking of making a blog specifically for things that I’m in the middle of learning: photography, bass, crafts, and cooking… but mostly photography haha. I need a new computer for graduate school and also for Adobe Lightroom. I don’t want to cave and spend all my money on a Macbook Pro (which I’ve never felt at ease using)… but it would be so good for both those things! Ahhh what to do!

Today was my first official day of learning bass guitar… I’m really terrible, but I am slowly learning the notes… I am hoping that in a year’s time I’ll be good enough to try out for bass on the praise team AHAHA… and in 2 year’s time, I’ll be good enough to form a band! Just kidding =/

On the upside, I’ve come by an awesome website that plays whatever music you’re in the mood for, whether you’re having dinner with friends, relaxed, studying or… high hahah: www.stereomood.com

Dali + Disney= Brilliance

This is my “second” post today. I am happy that I’ve been better with posting lately, although I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I’ve been sick haha. I know it seems like I’ve only been posting videos, but I stumbled upon something so awesome I had to share. Now, one of my favorite painters is Salvador Dali, I love surrealist works of art in general, but his style is so clean and precise, which I am a big fan of. Recently I learned that Dali and Disney collaborated to make a short film called “Destino”, which is pretty much a surreal Fantasia. The storyboard was made up in 1945ish, production was halted because of financial reasons, and then the film was finally completed in 2003. Whaaat? How did I not know about this until now :(

Anyway, here it is, enjoy:

 

Spring is here!

I gotta start taking out my camera a lot more… (and sleep earlier!) I want to try this with my camera sometime.

It’s really simple to DIY it, and I’m definitely going to make a post once I do it!

380 days ago

As I was going through my unfinished blog post drafts, found this one from March 3rd, 2010. This is how I felt about my life a little over a year ago:

Today, a friend of mine had a good day- “such a great day”, she said.  I can’t even remember when there was a day when every part of my life was ‘great’.  I think the last time I had a good day comparable to hers was when I got the job I’m working at now (the one that I complain about every waking hour), or the day I got into Mount Holyoke (God knows why, but I really wanted to go there). Even at those times, I was overjoyed from the good news because all other aspects of my life were in shambles.

Today, I think that despite the fact that I’m getting sick (again! I just got over a cold!) and dealt with 4 very grumpy children, I had a great day! However, I can’t say that my life is without hardship, in fact, pieces of my life that were in shambles before are now hanging together with pieces of tape and glue. My problems have been fixed temporarily and I’ll have to deal with them again at some point, that’s just what life is. But I think I’ve also changed a bit as a person, and that my perspective has shifted. I’m really starting to focus on how funny life is, I could have easily turned today into a soap opera what with all the crying and the temper tantrums (there is seriously some spring-related blues going around with the children), but I just saw it as part of dealing with kids and how silly they can be.

I’ve been on/off reading The Imaginations of Unreasonable Men by Billy Shore (he’s a family friend, which is how the book came into my possession, haha):

Picture taken on my piano :P

Which is about the scientists whose quest is to find the cure for malaria. I am really excited for my career to start… I can’t really help people suffering malaria, but with a degree in Speech Pathology, I could work locally and while having the ability to travel and help others in need elsewhere, which is what I’ve wanted to do for so long! The communication part wouldn’t really come into play if I were to work in another country– mostly the swallowing component of it, but just thinking about that possibility gets me really excited. Especially after reading this book. The author is a really nice guy, and I have so much to ask him about his book and his non-profit org (http://strength.org/), but I feel like I am jumping the gun because I haven’t even start graduate school. Whew… too many things to think about! I need to sleep =/

I got in!

That title is a spoiler but that’s okay since I’m pretty sure everyone knows, but I got into to MGH’s Speech-Language Pathology program!

I’m super excited! I haven’t heard back yet from Emerson or BU though, so I don’t know where I would be attending in the fall. If I hear back from Emerson, I’ll have a pretty tough decision on my hands on where to go; MGH is more medically based and trains you to work well in a hospital setting whereas (and it’s the highest ranked program in Boston), Emerson is more child development based and trains you to work well in a school setting. A former Emerson student (in the speech path. program) who I’ve spoken to, suggested that I go to MGH and I found that to be odd… haha, but a clear sign that MGH might be the better bet.

I’m kind of scared of going to school full time and working part time at a school just because that seems so draining and quite possibly detrimental to my performance at both school and job. I know one person in the MGH program and he seems to be drowning in school work alone! I don’t want to quit working at ACC, though :( Even if I have gotten peed on more than one should in life, I love the kiddies and I don’t want to leave them!

Wedding season is coming up! Two weddings this month (but I think that’s it for the year!), gotta buy waterproof mascara =/ Speaking of weddings, the other day I saw a cute video by Wongfu Productions that was made for a friend’s engagement. But because I felt creepy posting that up, here is another video that I thought was pretty funny.